The Right To Privacy Or.....How To Lose Your Own Identity In Less Than 180 Days

Well, if I could count the times this lovely little issue has crept into my life in the last 6 months, I would......but I can't, so I won't.


This morning I get "I don't understand why everything is so private with you!" I'm not happy unless BF is completely in the dark. Translation: I didn't tell him who I was texting; my brother, by the way. My brother had sent me a pic and BF asked if that was a new pic of Olivia - No, was my reply. "Well what was it?" It was my brother - all I said and that turned into me keeping secrets and being "so private". Hmmmmmm..........
So, I ask.......am I not entitled to my own privacy just because I am now one half of a couple? Just because I am in a relationship does that mean I no longer have my own identity? Must I divulge every little tidbit of my day, no matter how droll, just because I'm two instead of one? If so, I'd rather be one!
The facts, as I see them, are simply - I am ME. I have a right to my own identity, my privacy, as it were, and just because someone thinks he is entitled to know everything, doesn't mean he is entitled! If I were keeping secrets, if I were up to dishonest things, that would be different, but I'm not. Therefore, the real root of the problem, yet again, is insecurity. You cannot trust someone when you are insecure because everything appears secretive in some way or another. And accusing another of taking pleasure in adding to that, is mean.

I will not give up my own self, my identity for anyone; makes no difference who they are. I will not disrespect myself by making another person the number one priority in my life. And it's not as if I've not had this conversation before. I clearly recall saying sobriety and God are my first priorities, and that we, as alcoholics anyway, cannot put a person first in our lives; we cannot live for someone else. We did that - that's what got us into trouble to begin with. Simply, it does not work. This morning is a perfect example of that. Why the fuck be sober if you aren't going to change?????? Hell, go back to drinking! I've told people that a million times in meetings before. I mean, what's the fucking point? Pray, work the steps, don't drink - simple. I don't understand why anyone would want to live in an alcoholic's mind sober!!! I'd definitely go back to drinking!!